Fuck Degrees, Write A Book
Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Brown, Upenn, and Cornell all rejected me. However, the real question is, do I still need a degree?
I’ve co-authored 27 books in 8 different genres. 5 on chess endgame theory, 8 poetry collections, 5 science fiction and fantasy, 1 philosophical work on life and death, 1 romance, 2 short story collections, and 5 essay books. My sister and I have produced more works than most of the Harvard professors working there currently. Yet… we sit there in class as students…
It’s insulting really… just give us an honorary degree and move on. Actually, this has happened. A director at Boise State called it out once, “we should just give you an honorary degree…” She said, shifting uncomfortably in her chair.
Well, where is it?
Do I need it?
Is it even necessary?
What is a degree really?
Well, a degree is two things. It’s first and foremost a signal of class, and secondly a barrier against competition. It’s the ability to say, “I have status and you don’t. I have money and you don’t. I had a decent upbringing and you didn’t. I’m getting hired and you aren’t.”
Anyone who’s been to college can attest to the incompetence of the students, the faculty, and the organization as a whole. People fall asleep in class, or more commonly skip them altogether. The faculty hate the students, the students hate the faculty, and the faculty hate their colleagues. So then, what is the point of getting a degree if clearly both the student body and the faculty know it’s a scam? What’s the point when everyone is so damn miserable?
Well, we all know some of the less flattering reasons…
- Politically it’s useful: Hire teachers with certain ideologies, and you’ll gain a strong, emotionally charged, young and dumb voter base.
- Monetarily it’s useful: Turn your schools into pseudo churches; preach prestige, parties, and pedigree, then collect the checks. Don’t forget to threaten the adolescents with a life of poverty and servitude if they quit. Colleges win, the government wins, and bankers win!
However, there’s quite a bit of truth in the portion near the end. A life of poverty and servitude if they quit, can’t afford it, their parent gets sick, etc…
Does the failure to obtain a bachelor’s degree condemn a person to a life of drudgery, derision, and servitude? If it does, do Americans live in an educational caste system?
I have a proposal for a new way to earn degrees.
Write 1 book: Bachelor’s degree
Write 3 books: Masters degree
Write 6 books: PhD
That way, people would actually have to contribute to human knowledge instead of falling asleep in class. I’m joking, no one would ever graduate with that standard. The Oxford and Cambridge kids wouldn’t be able to play politics, or talk their way out of it.
Hello! We’re D.J. Hoskins
We are Davena and Jason Hoskins, co-authors of 30+ books and siblings who write under the pseudonym D.J. Hoskins. Three years apart and in our twenties, we have been fascinated by stories from a young age. Davena is a student attending Princeton University, and Jason attends Georgetown University.
