How Chess Evolves Into Paranoia
Slowly but surely, it’s taking over. There’s no doubt about it.
The longer I play, the more illusions I see. It starts with the little things. You wonder if you locked the door, shut the blinds, left the light on.
It’s odd because you think it’s normal… but it isn’t. You begin to calculate things. The reasoning that works so well over the board, begins leaking into other areas.
You strap in, turn on the car, and drive away. It’s a sunny afternoon, people are about. The temperature is just right. People walk up and down the street, yet you think… What if that guy leaps from the sidewalk and… You pause, then like clockwork, you turn on your blinker, shift left, and head away from the curb. Crossing the dashed white lines, you land in the other lane. Crisis averted.
Eyes wide open, you position your firearm near your bed. Should I lock the door to my room too? If I don’t and they sneak down the hallway… You swallow hard at the thought. If they get into my room, they could grab it and use it against me. Getting up, you move the rifle into the closet so that it’s within arm’s reach.
I mean… you begin thinking it over. Maybe I should lay some bubble wrap on the floor. That way if someone’s walking towards my room, I’ll have the upper hand. But, if they see the bubble wrap…
The pieces begin to shift. You can see them shifting. The growing number of variations. There he is, the invisible man… swiftly outwitting your carefully constructed methods of defense. The intruder doesn’t exist, he isn’t there, and yet you prepare frantically for his arrival. He’s a shadow, an enigma… an opponent who exists, but doesn’t. A possibility, an unseen enemy of the dark. Nonetheless, this ghost must be studied. His moves? Anticipated; his reasoning? Understood; his motives? A mirror of my own.
Chess is an exercise in paranoia. The game doesn’t remain on the board. It gets inside you, knocks things around, and reorganizes the psyche. Whoever you were before you began playing, erodes away with the passing of each game. Beware of this double-edged sword. For if you don’t, chess will fray your mind, and whither away the seams.
Hello! We’re D.J. Hoskins
We are Davena and Jason Hoskins, co-authors of 30+ books and siblings who write under the pseudonym D.J. Hoskins. Three years apart and in our twenties, we have been fascinated by stories from a young age. Davena is a student attending Princeton University, and Jason attends Georgetown University.
